UGH!!

I thought that if I wrote a blog that I would be more motivated. Instead, I am making all of the same excuses. I am trying harder, but I haven't given up many of my bad habits. Maybe I am expecting too much the first week. No!! That is just another excuse! I know I can do this. I have done it before!
I did walk 3.75 miles this morning. My goal is 5. It's more of a time issue. I know I can walk 5 miles. I will work harder!!!! I need to accomplish this goal!!
I will not give up. Even though nobody is reading this.
I am doing this for me!!

Still excited - but already tired

Yesterday didn't stay on track. I had a snack of salty chips and salsa. I could just feel the water weight set in. yuck! and yet I didn't stop myself from partaking fro the salty "goodness" that I craved. I even knew that we were having Pizza for dinner and it didn't keep me from the salty snack. I did drink water all afternoon and evening, and only ate 2 pieces instead of the 3 that I wanted. Oh well.
This morning I got up and ready to walk. I drank a slimfast before I went and walked just shy of three miles. I think I could have done more but I needed to get home so my husband could leave for work. I feel great! However, I was also starving! So I made 1/2 of a swiss cheese sandwich with Dijonaise. I don't feel ba about that. It's going to be a super busy day. Pick up kids, go to store, cut the grass (riding mower) and swimming birthday party tonight.
I am looking forward to using my new found energy wisely.
Time to start the "marathon"!!! :)

Let's get started!!!

Well, I am off to a good start. I checked the local teacher job openings and found several. i started one online application that my husband will help me finish later. He is an IT guy and I need a little help getting all the right documents uploaded. So I am feeling good about my start.
I was planing on walking this morning before my husband went to work, but he had to be in earlier than usual, so that has been postponed til later. I also have access to P90X and may do one of those workouts instead. My children are young and I cannot leave them alone in the house while I walk, so that limits my options.
As far as eating, I am doing very well considering how much I crave junk food. There is a lot of snacks in the house left over from Memorial Day Weekend. I have been snacking on it all last week. My husband and I are generally healthy people, but still crave the junk. I have found that if I deny myself all my cravings, they will eventually make me crazy and I will binge on several bad things. Bad meaning unhealthy.
I had a Slimfast for breakfast, and low sodium Tomato "soup at hand" for lunch. I also had a hand full of Jalapeno Chips. I drank a bottle of Green Tea. I need to get my water cup and keep it full. That's how I won't snack as much. The water will help. I feel like I stay on a diet, which some would say sensible eating, however, It is hard to make the right choices, so it feels like more of a diet than a life style.
So far, I feel like my path is set and I am on the right track
I hope this journey, this story, will show me that the truth doesn't have to be Ugly.

Background Basics

Ok. I thought I should give a little background info, just in case someone reads this. I am a wife, mother of 3, and an unemployed teacher. I have been struggling to get a job for 3 years. In March of 2007 I had our 3rd child, and in May of 2007 I lost my job because the small private school I worked for closed. Since then, I have worked small jobs in schools and worked in daycare. I haven't worked since early Dec. of 2009. The absence of my paycheck has been quite a struggle for our family, but we do the best we can. Some people might say for me to just get a job anywhere. I say to them, that just any job would be like settling or giving up. I am an educated person, and deserve a good paying job. I feel I deserve a job in my field of study. Anyway, that's my look on things.
As far as my other goal goes, since I have been home all day, I have put on some weight that I want to get rid of, and it's time to get off my butt and do it. I currently weight 150 lbs. I am not obese, but I am not fitting in my clothes the way I want to, so i need to get back into shape. I also want to set a better role model for my children. Especially my daughters.
I decided to title my Blog "The Ugly Truth" because I have to be completely honest here, and the truth that I am unhappy with so much of my current situation is very hard to admit and UGLY.
As far as anyone reading this. I am doing this blog for me, and maybe it will help anyone else with a similar situation. I would hope that if people make comments, that they would positive and encouraging. Otherwise, please don't waste your time, or mine.